Check out my soul facsimile.
It’s made of sawdust, lard, and grease.
Real quick to make and pretty cheap.
And it does everything you need.
It cannot laugh. It cannot cry.
It cannot taste an apple pie.
It cannot like or hate your hat.
Can’t break your heart, won’t be a brat.
Won’t disagree or criticize.
Won’t tell the truth but can’t tell lies.
Won’t disappoint you–that’s unless
you want to be disappointed.
Check out my soul facsimile:
just 80 dollars annually.
It’s like a friend who’ll never leave.
It won’t complain, can’t even breathe.
Yes, life will be real peachy keen
once we’ve all got facsimiles.
And take a sneaky look inside:
there’re pieces of you, chopped and dyed.