The donors are pushing foreshortened degrees
Grab just 90 credits and you get to leave
There’s no pruning parking or maintenance fees
So surely the learnin’s the right spot to cleave
The students themselves haven’t got much to say
They’d rather be watching TV, getting laid
What’s the use of a lit’rature class anyway?
Dissectin’ Ulysses won’t help them get paid
We learn what we do, and they have been taught
to wheedle and huff and to wipe phantom tears
Visibly unimpressed, still afraid they’ll get caught
With their heads down, asleep, or air pods in their ears
Maybe 90 credits is enough for this lot,
In a rush to get out and start polishing shoes
All thinking the shoes will be ones that they bought
But I ain’t paid enough to be breaking’ the news